 Part 4
Is it always muddy?Only if it rains! Glastonbury falls slap bang in the middle of Wimbledon fortnight and we all know how unpredictable the weather can be for that. However, unlike Wimbledon, I’m not aware of there being any plans afoot to install a retractable roof anytime soon.
 We’ve had mixed fortunes in recent years. We only had rain on one day at both the 2008 and 2009 festivals and 2010 was the hottest Glastonbury ever and an absolute scorcher from start to finish. However 2011 saw a return to more traditional Glastonbury conditions with lots of rain both before and during the first half of the festival making conditions very challenging, although it did dry up enough for us to be able to sit on the ground on the Sunday. Going back a little further, the 2007 festival coincided with the wettest June on record and in 2005 we had a storm of biblical proportions on the Friday morning which threatened cancellation of the festival and quickly turned large areas of the site into a quagmire.  Since 2005 a considerable amount of money has been spent on drainage to alleviate the most severely affected areas. But the festival site is in a valley and so if it does rain heavily then gravity takes its inevitable effect. The ground on the flatter central areas tends to get very soggy and with nearly 180,000 pairs of feet stomping around it gets churned up quite quickly. Can I bring the kids? Personally, Glastonbury is one Festival that I never took the Tortlets to when they were younger because it's during school term time. But many of those that do take their kids reckon it is among the best festivals for children to attend. In addition to the designated Family Camping areas, the kids also have their own entertainment field where there is an impressive array of stuff to keep them occupied in the form of a huge fairy castle, slides & swings, storytelling, things to make & do, sandpits, climbing apparatus, music making, puppet shows and appearances from kids favourites like Rastamouse. There is also plenty of entertainment laid on for junior punters in the Theatre, Circus, Cabaret, Greenpeace and Avalon Fields as well as children’s films in the Groovy Movie solar powered cinema in the Green Fields. 
Entrance to the Festival is free for children aged 12 and under but I’m afraid that there is no concession for children aged 13 and over and they have to pay the full price. If your child is under 13 but looks older it would be sensible to bring a photocopy of his or her birth certificate with you in case the stewards at the gates challenge the child’s age.
How much money will I need? Once you’ve paid for your ticket it is actually still possible to attend Glastonbury very cheaply. You can certainly survive on very little if you bring your own food and drink or shop around and I know several people who tell tales of having got through Glasto without having two beans to rub together. Personally I look at it as being a bit of a holiday and push the boat out. See below for details of food and drink prices, but additionally there are several hundred stalls selling anything from Doorbells to Didgeridoos, from Whips to Wedding Dresses and from Bongos to Bird Boxes so it's very easy to be tempted into taking a little something home as a memento and I've often spent the Monday scouring the stalls for a few presents to take home for my nearest & dearest before I pack up and leave. I usually take something in the order of £300 with me for six days but often bring a fairly big chunk of this home again. Many of the stalls will accept credit cards. Some may also allow cash-back if you purchase something from them in the same transaction. If you do run out of cash there are four sets of cash machines on site. There is a temporary NatWest Bank which is situated close to the farm at the northern end of the site.  The other machines are spread around the festival and their positions are indicated by the letters "ATM" on the site map. However be warned it can't always be guaranteed that all of the cash machines will be in operation all of the time and I have heard stories of people queuing for anything up to four hours to use them! It's also a sensible safety precaution not to visit the cash machines alone and, as always, make sure nobody is looking over your shoulder when you enter your PIN. Cash withdrawals at the Bank are free but there is a £2:50 charge at the other cash machines and you'll also find that if you have problems using the cash machines the Bank will have much better facilities & a friendly face if you need to talk to somebody.
What's the food like? Absolutely fanbloodytastic!!! If you're under the impression that all festival food is restricted to overpriced and undercooked burgers and chips then you are in for a very pleasant surprise. There are nearly 500 catering outlets on site and these are all selected by the organisers for their diversity. Personal favourites of mine are La Grande Bouffe, the Goan Fish Curry stall, and Leon's Vegetarian Cuisine (see above), all of which can usually be located in the West Holts Field. The best cooked breakfasts can be found in the British Sub-Aqua Club tent at the bottom of the Cockmill Meadow family camping field. A full English fry up here will cost you £6:50. Flippers & snorkels are optional.
 There are several stalls selling fresh fruit and there is also a bakery opposite the entrance to the Acoustic Field. Additionally you can buy fresh milk for 90p a pint from a tractor and trailer which drives around the farm each day. Food prices for the most part are similar to what you would find at other festivals or maybe slightly cheaper in some instances. A main meal will generally cost you something in the region of £6 to £8 but if you seek out some of the vegetarian cafes in the Green Fields you can eat cheaper. The Hare Krishnas provide free food although a donation for their generosity would be appreciated.  Most of the food stalls have some sort of seating fairly close by to allow you to perch while you munch. Alternatively, for additional comfort and indoor dining visit the Tiny Tea Tent (pictured above), the Fluffy Rock Cafe, Buddhafields, Chai Wallahs, Lulu’s Café (see below), The Common Ground Café, or one of the many other cafes dotted around the site. Some of these have small stages so you can also enjoy live entertainment while you sip on a fortifying mug of chai.  If you want to go really upmarket you can reserve a table at the Deluxe Diner in Shangri La where Michelin starred chef Chris Gillard serves up gourmet delights such as Cornish Octopus braised with Fino Sherry, Red Onion & Chickpeas to start; followed by a main course of Griddled Ox Heart, Chard & Anchovy; with a Chocolate & Armagnac Terrine and Fresh Cherries for dessert. Make sure you get your reservation in early as all sittings were fully booked well in advance of the festival in 2011.
Can I drink the tap water? Yes. The water at all the wash basins and standpipes is drinkable and the quality of the water is checked regularly throughout the Festival to make sure there are no nasty bugs in it. You might find that the water tastes a bit like a swimming pool as they do take extra precautions against contamination but this won't do you any harm whatsoever. The security staff at the major stages will often hand out cups of water to those at the front of the crowd so take advantage of this if you are feeling at all dehydrated. In 2009 a vast 1 million litre fresh water reservoir was built at Worthy Farm at a cost of £400,000. It got a maximum five rating for drinking water quality when it was inspected on completion. The festival is now nearly self sufficient for water - no longer having to run tankers around the site.
If you really can't face drinking the tap water then chilled local Glastonbury spring water is available at a reasonable £1:60 for a litre bottle from stalls around the site. You are advised to buy from these outlets as you’ll find that the bars, shops and ice cream vans will often charge you more than this for a bottle half the size!
Alcohol - What's the deal?And so we reach my favourite subject (and judging by the number of hits this page gets it’s many other people’s as well!) ... 
The best thing about drinking at Glastonbury is that although there is an element of commerciality creeping into the Festival, no one mega-brewer has a monopoly in the same way as Carling used to at Reading and Leeds or Tennant's do at T in the Park, so there is a much greater diversity of choice. Thankfully there is none of that nonsense of having to buy tokens for your drinks that you get at other festivals either. Closing times vary but most are extended well beyond normal pub hours and a few of the bars remain open well into the early hours of the morning. The festival is actually licensed to serve alcohol until 5am.  There are about 20 main bars dotted around the site, several of which are run by the Workers' Beer Company (WBC) and are staffed by volunteer Trade Union members and charity workers to raise money for their causes. Many are open from the Wednesday lunchtime onwards. The WBC bars are sponsored by Tuborg Lager and Gaymers Cider. However anybody who is concerned by this apparent commercialism needn't be overly worried. The sponsorship isn't particularly intrusive and you won't notice much other than some low key branding at the bars and on the paper cups in which your drinks are served.
 The WBC bars serve specially brewed Solstice Bitter & Pyramid Ale as well as a small selection of more widely available alternative choices in real ale. As a card carrying CAMRA member however, my advice to all ale drinkers is to head for the Cockmill Bar in the Acoustic Field where they serve a really good selection of excellent beers, all kept in tip-top condition and with prices starting at about £3:50 a pint. Further choices of Real Ales are available at several other small bars around the site including the Bimble Inn in The Park area, which serves organic ales from the Butts Brewery.
Being in Somerset you have to try the Cider (£3:50 a pint) from the Burrowhill Cider Bus, which is situated just off the main market area near to the southern entrance to the Pyramid Field. We're not talking your pasteurised, fizzy Strongbow or Magners brands here. This is the proper stuff! They serve a choice of Dry or Medium varieties, plus the Hot and Spicy (mulled) cider (£4:00 a pint) is a must on a cold or damp evening.  Also check out the chilled Pear Cider from the Brothers Bar in the West Holts Field, which is brewed just down the road in Shepton Mallet. You may have seen this available in your local supermarket but it is often a reduced alcohol variety. At 7% ABV the "festival strength" version kicks like a mule. Beware, it is very easy to completely lose the use of your legs drinking this stuff, which is probably one reason why I seem to spend more time in this field than anywhere else!  There are several wine bars dotted around the site. Keep an eye out for the big green inflatable bottles. A 125ml glass here will cost you £2:00 or £4:00 for 250ml. If you want to go really upmarket some of the venues in and around Shangri-La and The Park serve bubbly by the glass as well as cocktails and shots. You'll also find there are rogue traders wandering around selling cold cans of lager, tequila slammers and vodka jellies. They aren't licensed by the festival and are therefore effectively trading illegally but it's all part of the (ahem) spirit of the place.
Can I bring my own booze? Yes you can! Unlike other large festivals where they will try to fleece you for every last penny, you most certainly are allowed to bring your own booze to Glastonbury and drink it wherever you choose. The only restrictions are that you can only bring in "enough for personal consumption" and that you must not bring any glass. If the security at the gates find glass bottles in your bags they will be confiscated. They aren't particularly heavy-handed but please don't try to smuggle bottles in. There is a very good reason for the No Glass rule. Think of the cows who have to live on the site when we aren't there enjoying ourselves and how much damage broken glass could do to them. If you want to bring spirits make sure you decant them into plastic bottles first and buy wine in boxes. How much is "enough for personal consumption"?There is no set limit. What they are trying to do is prevent people bringing large amounts of alcohol on site to sell on illegally at an unlicensed profit.  I've gone through the gates with 48 cans on my trolley in the past without any difficulty. But don't forget you may have to walk anything up to 2 miles from car to camp site so you will be restricted by how much you can carry over that sort of distance. If you are driving you can always return to the car to top up supplies over the weekend. Note that there are no shops selling alcohol within easy walking distance of the site and the local pub is closed for the duration of the Festival.
Is it possible to buy ice at the festival?
This might sound like a really bizarre question but you wouldn’t believe how many people ask it every year. In all my years of wandering round Glastonbury I’ve never come across anywhere that specifically sells ice although somebody contacted me after the 2010 festival to say that some of the general purpose shops were selling it by the cupful. I also spotted these guys hauling a load across the site a few years ago, presumably for sale at the shops or use at one of the bars.
Are the toilets really that bad?Ask anybody who has been going to festivals for as long as I have and they will almost certainly tell you that the toilet situation is vastly better now than it was in the past. The "Pyramid of Poo" which was a regular feature of Festival Toilets is thankfully no more than an unpleasant memory these days. Certainly Glastonbury lays on considerably more in the way of toilets than it is legally obliged to for the number of people on site and these are all emptied and cleaned on a regular basis. 
Toilet roll is sometimes provided in the loos but this will often have run out by the time you get there so it's a good idea to carry a small supply of your own at all times in case of emergencies. Free toilet rolls are available from the Information Points and Property Lock Ups but please only take as much as you need and give a small donation to the charities they are collecting on behalf of if you can.  photograph courtesy of Wiskey I'm sure everybody will be familiar with the portaloos or "turdis" but I avoid them because they do tend to kick up a bit in the hot weather. 
These are the infamous Glastonbury "longdrop" toilets which are basically a row of seats over a large pit. Much less smelly and, provided the weather is dry and you time your visit to shortly after they've been cleaned, a not too unpleasant experience at all. Some of the doors don't have locks on them but it's easy to see from the dangling feet which ones are occupied. And in case you were wondering, the myth that occasionally people fall in is completely untrue.
 The underground tanks on which the longdrops are sited are permanent structures and are therefore only situated on land which is actually owned by the Eavis family. Other areas which are owned by neighbouring farmers have similar arrangements known as "highdrops". These are accessed via steps with the tank positioned above ground level.  These are the “She Pee” female urinals which enable girls to enjoy the phenomenon that we blokes take for granted of being able to pee standing up. A small funnel-like device is provided to assist.  There are some brightly coloured but very basic composting toilets at the bottom of Kings Meadow. A scoop of sawdust thrown in after you’ve done your business keeps the smell to a minimum. At the other end of the comfort scale there are some proper flushing toilets to be found up at the top of Big Ground but I reckon that using these is cheating!  Photograph courtesy of Flash Bristow
Special Request from my friend Flash:-
This is an accessible toilet for disabled people, located in around a dozen spots throughout the site. They may seem tempting, especially if there is no queue, but there are hundreds of disabled people on site who cannot use any other toilets. So please leave these for others who have no alternative. 
With a toilet block in virtually every field and urinals close to most of the bars there really is no excuse for pissing in the streams or the hedges. But people still do and as a result the Festival has been prosecuted and fined in the past for polluting the water courses. Nowadays the Green Police are on the look out for offenders, so unless you want to risk being shamed and embarrassed by them - Don't Do It!
Can I have a shower?To be honest most people go “feral” and tend not to bother. Certainly I normally make do with wet wipes and my D.I.Y. shower in the camp site. However there are a few places to be found on site where you can get yourself a shower. But please be aware that you may find that some of these are communal and don't offer the degree of privacy that you may be accustomed to.  These are the showers which are to be found at the entrance to the Kidz Field. Expect to queue for some time to use these, especially at more popular times of the day.  More showers can be found in the Greenpeace Field. Again there are often long queues for these at the more popular times, although I have heard that they sometimes operate a ticket system whereby you book for a specific time and come back later.  You can also have a shower at one of the several saunas which are dotted around the Green Fields. I’ve taken the opportunity of using Sam's Magic Hat Sauna after a particularly sweaty slog across the site with my gear and came away feeling like a new man. They work on a donation only basis but please be very careful because that sauna really can get incredibly hot! Please don't take things like soap, shampoo and shower gel with you to the showers. You will be supplied with environmentally friendly versions to use when you get there. All you need is a towel.  Please also note that there is nowhere for you to plug in your hair straighteners - and yes the question has been asked in all seriousness in the past!!! There are however a few hair salons dotted around the site if you feel you really can’t go five days without being pampered.
What facilities are there for the disabled?A dairy farm certainly isn't the easiest place to get around for the able bodied so I'm afraid all I can do is express my total admiration for those who don't allow their disabilities to prevent them joining in the fun at Glastonbury.
 photograph courtesy of Flash Bristow
There's a page of information regarding facilities for the disabled on the Official website.
Flash Bristow also has some excellent first hand advice for disabled visitors. You can find this in her "Glasto On Wheels" Guide. In addition I have also noticed on a couple of occasions over the last two festivals that there were people standing to the side of the West Holts stage who were hand-signing for deaf members of the audience. I understand that you can arrange for this via an organisation called Deaf Zone.
What medical facilities are there?
OK, I’m sure you will have already guessed that this guy isn’t really a doctor. He was just “prescribing” tequila shots in Shangri-La. But there are two medical centres on site and it is fair to say that, if you are unfortunate enough to need it, you will receive much more prompt medical attention at Glastonbury than pretty much anywhere else in the country. In 2008 somebody in my extended group of friends fell and broke her wrist but she was X-rayed and had the wrist set in plaster without even having to leave the site.  Unfortunately, with a population equivalent to that of a moderately sized city, it is statistically inevitable that there will be fatalities at the festival from time to time. However, despite the festival's hedonistic reputation, remarkably few of these are drugs related. If you do feel that you have overdone things, don't worry about seeking medical assistance. Better to be safe than sorry and it is unlikely that you will find yourself in any trouble with the law.
Is it OK to use mobile phones? Coverage for mobiles at the Festival used to be extremely patchy and when I first went in 1999 it was almost impossible to get a signal anywhere in the valley. Nowadays the situation is much better. Orange have a booster on site and most other networks seem to work fine although there is always a degree of uncertainty with connectivity in areas where so many people are trying to communicate at once and problems do still arise so it's as well to have a back up plan if you are arranging to meet up with people on the site.  You can get your phone recharged at the Chill and Charge centres and there were several of these dotted around the site in 2011. If you'd rather not wait with your phone – and sometimes the queues can be very long – there are a few stalls in the Greenfields who will charge your phone for you using solar and wind power whilst you go off and enjoy the festival. Top up machines are also available at the Information Points if you run out of credit.
Can I take my dog? No. Regrettably there are very few festivals in the UK nowadays where canine friends are welcome and the days of travellers with their "doggy-on-a-string" at Glasto are long gone I'm afraid. Any animals found on site are cared for by the local RSPCA. I'm not sure how this unfortunate fox got on however as he was trapped inside the fence shortly before the festival. |
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Tort's Glastonbury FAQ Part 4 |